Monday, April 4, 2011

Get Your Class War On

So there's this fucking asshole named Rand Paul who got himself elected senator from Kentucky. He fancies himself an intellectual, but in committee meetings he recycles arguments about low-flow toilets that were favorite topics of community-college forensics competitions in 1998.

Paul's also been going around to shows like Letterman and The Daily Show blathering about how the top 50% of earners pay 96% of the income taxes. Conservatives love touting that statistic; in part it's used as an argument for cutting taxes for the top earners, and it part it's used to stir up resentment for the bottom 50% who aren't paying taxes (but of course driving Cadillacs and buying steaks with their food stamps).

Now the thing is, it's true that the top earners have been paying a higher and higher percentage of the income taxes in the past several decades. Here's a handy graphic from some fucking conservative site.

Check out the dark blue. That's the top 1% of earners. Their share of total income taxes paid have risen to 30 fucking percent. The top 5% of earners pay 50% of the taxes. 

And look at those red fuckers. They ain't payin' nuthin'. Bunch of fucking freeloaders! The orange dudes aren't a whole lot better, for that matter. Time they pay their fair share, right?

After all, if we take money away from the rich, that's just less money for us, right? Because it all trickles down. You remember trickle down, don't you? Rich people spend their money on jobs, like for people to work in their factories or clean the toilets in their yachts or jack them off by the pool while they sip cocktails and read The Wall Street Journal


You get a good look at that? Here it is again:

If you're too fucking stupid to read a graph, what it says is that since 1979 the top 1% of income earners have been getting more and more cash, while the other 99% have been getting ass-raped.

"Duhhhh, I don't care what other people make," you say. Get your thumb out of your ass and jump out the nearest window, you fucktard.

They pissed all over us, that's for sure, but that's not the kind of trickle down they were promising.

"So what?" you say. "So they made a lot of money. Why should we take it away from them?" Okay, you know what, I was about to reply, "Eat shit and die," but then I thought it about it a second, and I thought, okay, maybe that's a decent argument. Let's go with the idea that those top earners have earned the right to roll around in mountains of gold doubloons like Scrooge McDuck. Okay.

The problem, asshole, is that they don't want to just keep their mountains of gold. 

They want to take MORE from YOU, to wring out every last cent they can.

They want to cut your Social Security. They want to gut Medicare and Medicaid. That fuckface Paul Ryan wants to abolish Medicare AND cut upper-income taxes. They want to erase any healthcare reforms so the insurance companies can dump your preexisting-conditioned ass in order to "ensure healthy profits." They want you to swallow and accept wage cuts because "we all have to make sacrifices." 

The nerve of these vile cocksuckers to tell you to pay more because their earnings have gone up and yours haven't. That's hucksterism at it's very worst. These people are worse than every fucking snake oil salesman who ever lived. The slimiest used car salesman, the crookedest carny, have more integrity than pseudointellectual Rand Paul and the motherfucking assholes who try to pull this argument on you.

And here's one more chart just for good measure. It shows how burdensome taxes are to the fucking wealthy in this country.

From the authors:

That’s a line for every year from 1913 onward, sized and colored by the tax burden: the amount of tax due relative to the long-term average at each income level. Above-average burdens appear thick and red and below-average thin and blue.

Well, whaddyaknow. The fucking tax burden on the wealthy is at a historic LOW.

They aren't sacrificing FUCKING SHIT. They are rolling in their mountains of gold.

But rich motherfuckers like that cocksucking shitass Rand Paul, the guy who takes such enormous shits that he has to flush his toilet 10 times to get it all down, will smile and tell you it's right and just.

"You want some trickle down?" Sen. Paul will say. "Get on your knees and I'll piss all over you."

And he will, too. He's doing it right now. They all are. And then they'll laugh about it all the way to the bank.

They don't want you to think about it. They want you to be scared. They want you to worry about how the black man is GONNA GET YOU, and the gay person is GONNA GET YOU, and the Muslim person is GONNA GET YOU. When all the while it's the rich greedy cocksuckers who are robbing you blind.

Just remember this:

Take a look at that and tell me if it's right and just to cut your Social Security and Medicare and Medicaid and income and healthcare. Tell me where the fucking trickle down is.

They have no answer for that. Oh, they might shit out of their mouths about "global market forces" that are beyond our control. In other words, it's "natural" that they're getting richer and richer and you're getting poorer and poorer. It's "the way it was meant to be."

Funny how the people making that argument are always the ones on top.

Their latest line is about "tough sacrifices." But their idea of a tough sacrifice is when the king has to walk up to the edge of the volcano to toss your sorry ass in it. There's no shared sacrifice. None. Zero. And you don't dare raise their taxes. No! Think how that will affect the economy. It's okay to gut Social Security and Medicare and Medicaid and public education and everything else. It's okay to fuck you up the ass with a baseball bat wrapped with barbwire. But if you raise their taxes, they'll have less money, and therefore they'll spend less, and less will trickle down.

Hmm. How much of it was trickling down again?

Oh yeah. That's right. None of it.




It's way past time to GET YOUR CLASS WAR ON, MOTHERFUCKERS. They've been waging war against you for 30 FUCKING YEARS.


  1. You know what? It's bullshit like this anti-American screed that really shows your true colors.
    The reason some people make more than others is because some people work harder than others.
    While you were sitting in Starbuck's drinking your latte and typing up your cute little missive on your MacBook Pro, the people you insult were out there working their asses off managing international corporations with billions of dollars in assets.
    So you just go ahead with your little pansy tirade of jealousy.
    When you get tired of crying like the fucking pussy you are, maybe you should try working for a living like the rest of us, you fucking puke.

  2. Franklin Andersen III,

    Just keep eating that shit, cockass.

  3. This post is nothing but win. Well, it's nothing but lose since we're the ones eating it and coming back for seconds. How about some pitchforks?

  4. Nobody can possibly work 1000 times harder than another. Aren't enough hours in the day. And, actually, productivity has gone UP among the working class. SO, yeah, frank. EAT SHIT AND DIE.

  5. Dexter MethorphanApril 5, 2011 at 8:46 AM

    And since Franklin Anderson III inherited his money from from Franklin Anderson II, I don't think he needs to lecture us on working harder.
    What a dick.

  6. Screedster, you nailed it. I try to be polite, but fuck that. This is serious. Mr. Anderson is either a tool or a fool -- duped by the top 1%, or just doesn't get it, or is among the top 1%. When somebody says I am anti-American, my first reaction is "go fuck yourself", followed by "I am a combat veteran, asshole", followed by "we would be remiss as patriotic Americans if we fail to point out and criticize our shortcomings as a nation, thereby to try to strengthen our democratic republic". Many of us swore an oath when we joined the military to "protect and defend the Constitution...against all enemies, foreign and domestic". By systematically attempting to buy Congress and the state legislatures with oceans of money, the top 1% are subverting the Constitution -- and are domestic enemies thereof. Congress should confiscate a big chunk of the wealth from the top, and near the top. But if Congress is bought and paid for, that's problematic. The top wealth holders could suddenly become patriotic and voluntarily pay down the debt, and eliminate the budget deficit, as it would be the patriotic thing to do. According to Franklin Anderson, the rich must be good, solid, patriotic Americans, right? Happy to pitch in and help. It's the least those fuckers could do.

    I'm in Wisconsin

  7. I never insulted any combat veterans. I salute your service and appreciate your sacrifice.

    I think you people are confusing the government with the country, but that's to be expected as it can be a rather complicated point.

    The biggest problem with your way of thinking is that the answer is to have the people who are actually successful as Americans " voluntarily pay down the debt." This is exactly the sort of liberal bullshit that is wrecking everything. Why should successful people be penalized? because we have money? Because our families worked for generations to make our country a better place for everyone? How do you think we got here? How do you think people are employed? Who makes the jobs? The successful people of the world. The people you call "rich." See, these people aren't successful because they're wealthy. They're wealthy because they're successful. Because they made this country. And now they're supposed to just hand over their money to poor people so that the poor people don't have to work hard? Does that make sense to you? Nevermind. It probably does.

  8. Lady Merryweather Van TrollopsworthApril 6, 2011 at 5:48 AM


    You're not taking into account the fact that many of us 1%ers derived our wealth from the exploitation of other human beings, the planet, and an economic system that subsidizes the concentration of wealth. Money is a river, my dear man, and we have carved the beds deep. Sure, there have always been strongmen and I wouldn't have it any other way, but to pretend we got where we are through "working for generations" is disingenous. After all, my maid's family has "worked for generations" as well. We have a responsibility to shoulder more of this country's tax burden. If you're of one the *truly* wealthy, it's not like closing a few tax loopholes will make us have to sell our private jets!