Thursday, March 24, 2011

Quit honking at me, BITCH!

Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed a rash of fucking assholes honking their horns as soon as the light changes?

It's not a new phenomenon, I know. But I was wondering if some cockasses put in the new editions of driver's ed textbooks that it was okay to do that.

And they're not just honking at me. If they were, I might start thinking I had Alzheimer's and get myself checked out. They'll honk at fucking anybody.

If some fucko is just sitting at a green light yakking away on their goddamn cellphone, then I think it's okay to give them a little toot. I mean, after you've sat there 10 seconds or so. But while I know you think you've got the reflexes of some motherfucking NASCAR driver, not everyone floors it the instant the light changes. Wait a few goddamn seconds and calm your ass down. Go get a massage or jack off or something. Christ.

I don't want to start some road rage incident. I'm nothing if not reasonable. But goddamn, those horn fucks deserve the fucking finger more than anyone. What I really want to do is drive 5 miles an hour and then make jackoff gestures to them when they find a chance to pass me a mile down the road. But cocksuckers like that, they're likely to have a fucking gun.

It all goes back to people thinking they're so much more important than everyone else. Let me remind you, shitass: YOU'RE NOT. Gotta be somewhere in a hurry? TRY LEAVING EARLIER NEXT TIME, FUCKWIPE. Oh, and while you're at it, GO DRIVE IN FRONT OF A TRAIN.

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