It is just fine to be happy we killed Osama bin Laden.

So I've been reading and watching some fucking people on TV and Facebook and elsewhere wringing their goddamn hands and shaking their finger at people for being glad that we killed that motherfucker Osama bin Laden.

Look, if you're really trying to live the Christian life and forgive people for their heinous acts, then my hat's off to you. I mean that sincerely. You're a better person than I am. Maybe the world would be a much better place if we could all follow that example. And I've got no problem with you promoting that kind of attitude. But at this moment, regarding Osama bin Laden, please just leave everyone else the fuck alone.

If you've got a beef with our foreign policy, that's okay by me. You're more than justified, in my opinion. We've done all kinds of fucked up things. You're fucking right to complain and demand we improve.

But let me tell you about this fucker bin Laden. Supposedly he first got pissed off at us when the Soviets left Afghanistan, and we closed up shop and told everyone to go fuck themselves. And you know, it's understandable to be pissed about that. But then he got really mad when the Saudis asked us to come save them from Saddam Hussein. He went apeshit over the idea over our Christian/Jewish/atheist/Trekkie feet touching his sacred fucking Saudi sand. So in revenge for that, he decided it would be a good idea to take planes full of innocent people and fly them into buildings full of innocent people.

See, you do shit like that, you have forfeited whatever argument you had. Because while we have done shitty things, while there have been numerous instances when the United States should have been more thoughtful about the innocent lives we fuck with all the time, our goal is not to go around blowing up innocent people. It just isn't. We don't delight in that, like he did. When things get fucked up, like My Lai and shit like that, we get upset and do what we can to fix it and do better next time. We don't throw a fucking party.

So imagine you're a nine-year-old kid, and you wake up one morning, and you see videos of big planes flying into big buildings. You always liked planes, and you always liked big buildings. You read about the Twin Towers in New York City and wanted to go to the top of those one day. You had a great time when you got on a plane to see Grandma or Uncle Joe or whoever the fuck. But then you see those planes blow up and the buildings fall down, and suddenly you're scared as shit, and everyone around you is scared as shit. And you don't even know anyone who got blown up or killed, but even so your life has fucking changed. For a long time everyone talks about chemicals and biological weapons and nuclear bombs, and you don't know if you're going to wake up one morning and see a mushroom cloud or your mom covered with smallpox. And you have to go through all this shit at the airport, and every time you get on a plane you hope it isn't getting flown into a building. And moms and dads of your friends are going off to war, and you hear grownups arguing all the time, and they're always talking about scary shit all the time on TV.

If that was you, and ten years later, when you're in college, our guys finally find the motherfucker responsible for it all and blow off half his fucking head, then that is a really good day. You've been living with that shit for a long-ass time, and now that evil motherfucker is dead as dreams. So maybe you get a little excited and go outside and shout about it for a few minutes.

Some of you fuckers might say, well, some of those poor kids in the Middle East and elsewhere live with that same kind of fear all the time, and a lot of times it's the U.S. or our equipment that's doing the blowing up, and maybe our goal isn't to blow up innocent people but they get blown up all the same. And I say, yeah, I get that. And Screedster has major issues with U.S. foreign policy. But going outside and blowing off some steam for a few minutes because an evil mass murderer is dead is different than deciding you need to go blow up some other innocent fuckers. It just is. I'll cut innocent people a lot of slack for being pissed at being on the business end of our foreign policy--up until the point they start blowing up innocents.

And then maybe you say, but violence just begets violence, and it's this endless cycle that only ends in death. Look, I don't know the details of everything that went down, but I'm pretty sure if we'd run into bin Laden in line at McDonalds, we probably wouldn't have blasted his head off right then. Maybe we would have attempted to subdue him and bring him in alive. But you couldn't send some local beat cops to cuff bin Laden. You had to send in Seals, because they're the only fucking guys who had a chance of going into his compound and taking out that bastard. And Seals don't fuck around. They're in a room with this asshole, and they don't know what he's got planned, whether the whole place is wired to blow or what the fuck. Someone who is presumably such a fucking mastermind would have some kind of tricks up his sleeve, like the Joker's electrocuting joybuzzer, or shit like that. You've already fought and killed some other fuckers just to get in the same room with him, and he makes the slightest fucking weird-ass move, and it's pop, pop, there goes part of your head, asshole.

And that's more or less the same thing that would happen if the cops went to bust some serial killer. Didn't you see Silence of the Lambs? Because that's really what bin Laden was: a serial killer, but one with enough charisma to make some other miserable fucks go blow themselves up so he could get off. The Islam stuff, his beefs with the United States, that was all just an excuse to kill people. That was his Catcher in the Rye. Because to fly planes into buildings or tell other people to, to think that it's a good idea to blow up innocent thousands and make countless others miserable, you have to be sick in the head. Like John Wayne Gacy or the guy in Lambs making the woman suit. "It puts the lotion in the basket!" Just like that. If you can subdue those guys, great. But one fucking wrong move, motherfucker, and pow.

So please fucking spare me your goddamn righteous indignation. This guy was a major-league mass-murdering asshole. Outside of Hitler and Stalin and maybe a couple of other guys, he was a contender for All-Time Mass-Murdering Asshole. We lived with the threat of this guy for over ten years. It's okay to be happy he's dead.

P.S. And quit being a shitass about giving Obama or Bush credit for getting bin Laden. Bush went after him, would have gotten him if he could have. Obama kept after him and got him. It doesn't matter what you think about either of them otherwise. Grow the fuck up.